Toilet Ruminations #9

I don’t want to become more positive. I don’t want it to happen to me. The idea of being a positive person horrifies me. But positivity is everywhere. Maybe not positivity, but the belief that we would be better people if we were more positive. This is such a false belief! We would not be better! We would be more robotic! Less intelligent! More numbed! No I don’t want this to happen to me but I feel the positivity pull. Positivity has become the largest cult of our time. As if all our problems would be miraculously solved if we were only more positive. To hell with this! Lets work on being more negative. Lets get better at being negative people. Then we will be more aligned with the realities of life. Then we will be less naive and out to lunch. How unattractive a positive person is. I meet a positive person and want to run to the hills. Few things are as dull as hanging out with a positive person. A positive person is the defeat of a human being. Everything they say you have always heard before. They speak in pre-packaged terminologies often repeated by other cult members. It is the language of conformity and you will be judged if you do not speak this language. There is no more judgemental person than a positive person. They hate negative people. No, please don’t let me become more positive. I am terrified of this. But I feel myself slipping. I feel the temptation to be positive. More people would like me. I could be more successful. I would be the person people want to be around. Good things would start to happen. But I would hate myself! Every positive person hates themselves because deep down they know they are selling out. This is why they have to always work at being more positive or staying positive. They know they are full of shit. They know they are being positive because they think it will get them more in life. There is no greater tool of conformity than being positive.  When I meet a positive person I do not think, “How do you do it? What is your secret?” No! I think, “Why do you do it? So sad.” I feel like I want to run. I feel terrified of catching what they have become. I see the way their lives improve when they become more positive and it is tempting to want this for myself. But this is how it starts! I don’t want to catch the virus. But that is the thing about positivity. The more you are around it, the more you hear about it, the more you feel the positivity pull. And the more you feel guilty and shameful for being negative! It is a terrible thing this positivity cult! A serious danger to human civilization. No good literature, philosophy, poetry or art comes from a positive person. I want to do whatever I can to remain negative. To get better at being negative. To save my dignity by being the most proudly negative man in the entire world! But I am afraid because I know that the positive people will judge me. And then I will be left all alone. With nothing. Discarded and dropped like all the other negative people.

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