Toilet Ruminations #16

Why do I waste my time with this Instagram thing? It doesn’t work. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t provide the results I am looking for. What results are you looking for? Fame! To be discovered! To be seen as the talent that I am! Ok, well there is nothing wrong with that. Instagram is a way for you to tunnel your work out into the larger world. It is a way to get your work seen without having to show it in a gallery. You can make something and then instantly a hundred people can see it. But they will forget about it a minute later. Instagram is so saturated with art and images that no one can retain much of what they see. Everyone is on there looking to be discovered, to be seen for the talent they are. But when everyone is doing the same thing, few will stand out. How do you think you will be one of the few? I don’t know. I know it is a waste of my time. I know it does not mean anything but it is fun posting a picture I just drew and seeing how many people like it. It is almost like playing a slot machine. I post and then I watch how many people like what I post. If not that many people like it I feel like I failed. If many people like it I get a rush that tells me I am on the right path. I must be good! What a crap game to play. Why are you reducing your work as an artist to this game? Would you ever be able to respect an artist who plays this game? Could you ever be really interested in an artist who posts their work on Instagram? Of course not. The moment it is posted on Instagram the work is less interesting. The things we chose to engage with say a lot about a person. Instagram is another word for sell-out. Why are you doing this? It does not motivate you as an artist. It often depresses you. Subconsciously you feel bad about participating in this crap. You know you are doing yourself a disservice. You know that any fame that would come from Instagram would not be the kind of sell-out fame you want. So why do you keep doing it? Are you that alone and bored in your life that you are so desperate for any kind of stimulation and recognition? But the recognition of Instagram is no recognition at all. Yeah someone might tell you they like your work but this is as far as it goes. And deep down they know you are showing (always posting) your work on Instagram, which does discredit you to an extent. Instagram is mold to an artist. Why are you doing this? Get off of it now. Go delete your Instagram page right now. Stop this behavior now. Yes, but aren’t you being a bit rash? Maybe you are chickening out? Cracking under the pressure? Maybe it is a good way to show your art but you need to be less involved. You get so tied up in these social media things. Before you know it your self-worth is dependent on it. You check and check to see how many people like what you have done. If only 3 people like your post, your feel like it is crap. Why can’t you believe in your work more than this? If no one likes it, but you like it, it is good enough. Don’t you like those artists who have faith enough in their work to keep making it even though few pay attention? You know it is the shit no one likes that is often the good stuff. But it’s Instagram. I know but Instagram is all you got right now.  Rather than deleting your Instagram try and be more restrained with it. Post once a day and then do not check it at all again that day. You have such an addictive personality. With whatever gets you high. Naked women, liquor, books, sex, food, weed, Instagram. You need to learn how to have more restraint with the things you get addicted to. As humiliating as it is to admit, you get addicted to social media. YOU ARE THAT GUY. There is nothing wrong with Instagram. Sure it is crap. Sure it means nothing. But it is a good way for you to show your work to the world. Let it be that and nothing more. This hunt for fame and value as an artist is ridiculous. You need to knock that off. See Instagram as a digital wall that you hang your work on. Other people can see if they want but you are just hanging your work on that wall and then who cares about the rest. It is just a digital wall. Stop always coming back and checking out your art on that wall. Just hang it and leave it alone. Who cares who does or does not like it.

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