Toilet Ruminations #42

How do they not like fish? Who doesn’t eat fish? I mean I know there are vegans but even they should eat fish sometimes. I don’t understand. Just eat the fish! I mean common. How can you not like fish? I have never heard of such a thing. And then you look at me like I am this evil person for eating fish. Who do you think you are? You think you are some elevated human being because you do not eat fish? You think that I am beneath you because I am a fish eater? Really? Are we really going to stoop that low to think that I am beneath you because I enjoy eating fish? Do I really need to spend my lunch being judged and put down because I am eating fish? Is this really what we need to be doing now? I agreed to have lunch with you both because I thought that you were nice people. To be honest I thought that the lady was very attractive. I know she is married but who knows. Maybe if I applied my charm and good looks she would be willing or wanting to sleep with me. Stranger things have happened. Remember when you went out to dinner with the couple many years ago and she signaled for you to come back to the bathroom and you had sex with her in the women’s bathroom as her boyfriend waited at the table? Ever since then you have been trying to recreate that experience. Be honest. This is why you agreed to go out to lunch with this couple. Not because you thought they were nice. You would much rather stay at home and be alone if some opportunity for sex is not involved. You were hoping that the woman would signal for you to come back to the bathroom but instead she disdained you for eating fish. What the hell? What kind of people do such a thing? Fish is delicious. I can’t understand why they would think I am such a low creature for eating fish. I could feel their contempt. They despised me for attempting to enjoy my salmon salad. If you don’t want to eat fish, fine. I get it that there are things we all do not like, even though fish is delicious. Who doesn’t like fish? But do you need to put me down for eating fish? With every bite of my fish I felt as if I was doing something terrible wrong. This fish unwillingly gave up its life for me. You can’t even let me enjoy it?

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