Toilet Ruminations #60

I bought a new house. I should not have bought a new house. This was an impulsive decision. I do not have the money to buy a new house. But this is what credit is for right? Why not use what credit you have rather than just letting it sit there? If life inherently has no meaning, if we are all just waiting in line for our inevitable extinction, why not buy a house? You did the right thing. The house is now yours. You are now the owner of two houses, two blocks away from one another. I have wanted that house since I noticed a For Sale sign outside of it. It is a small house. A house that was built in the 70s. The kind of house Jeffrey Dahmer would have lived in had he been released from prison. It is a house that needs a lot of work. The kind of house where you would not be surprised to see rats running down the hallways. But I do not care. It is my own house. It is across the street from a park where in the evenings you can walk around and find various orgies going on in the bushes. You can get a blow job behind a tree from some board and horny house wife. It is a sex park filled with middle-class, suburban, sexual deviants. It is my favorite park and I am happy that I now own a home just across the street from it. My wife does not know about the house. She will be upset when and if she finds out that I bought a house. I want to keep the house to myself. I want to have a place where I can go and be free from my wife. After all I am a psychologist. I slave away everyday listening to other people’s problems. I deserve to have my own little house. I needed my own bathroom for these toilet ruminations. Normally when I am ruminating in the bathroom my wife will knock on the door telling me that she needs to use the bathroom. If I spend too much time ruminating in the bathroom my wife will ask me what is going on. Sometimes I will want to ruminate on my toilet but my wife will be in the bathroom and I will be locked out for long periods of time. This upsets my flow. It is very frustrating. Sometimes I will use the bathroom after my wife has been in it but the smell of her bowel movement greatly upsets my toilet ruminations. I just can not concentrate. So I needed to buy this small house. I needed my own space. It was a good purchase. Don’t give yourself a hard time. Don’t worry about the money. You will have to see more patients to afford the extra house payment but that is ok. You can make more money if you want. That is no problem. There is always people wanting to pay a lot of money to treat their mental health problems. Now you have your own blue tiled bathroom that you can go to and ruminate. The toilet in your new house is comfortable and perfect for the shape of your ass. You can sit on that toilet and ruminate as much as you want, undisturbed. You can bring various women back to your new house and not have to worry about your wife being there. You can walk just across the street and participate in an orgy in the bushes before bed if you wish. It will be a good situation for you. You just need to furnish the place, paint the walls, do some gardening in the back and it will be ready to go. Don’t tell your wife for now. She will be too upset and concerned that you bought your own house. I don’t think she will understand that you really need your own bathroom. Just keep it to yourself. Everyone needs their own secrets. Secrets make life more enjoyable I think.

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