Toilet Ruminations #70, The Phoners

The year was 2021. Almost everyone was glued to their smartphones by then. It happened all at once. Smartphones started exploding in people’s faces. Was it planned? Was an explosive device built into the phones? No one really knew. Probably not since even the president’s face exploded. All that was known was that the vast majority of smartphones exploded and left a large population of the people looking like mongoloids. Their faces twisted and smeared. Burnt and deranged. It was a terrible site to behold. At one time there were many beautiful faces in the world and now there were few. The vast majority of people looked like monsters. Plastic surgery became the biggest business in the world. But not even extensive plastic surgery could hide the catastrophic effects of the smartphone explosion. What puzzled many social theorists was the large extent of people whose faces were deranged by the smartphone explosion. It seemed at times as if it was almost every single person. Deranged faces became the norm. Those with normal faces stood out. Social theorists were surprised by the large amount of people who were on their smartphones simultaneously. It was not understood until the smartphone explosion the wide extent of the smartphone addiction. People in supermarkets, malls, on planes, in doctor’s offices, at banks, in gyms, in hospitals and in cars all effected simultaneously. It was as if just about every single person in the Western world was on their smartphone simultaneously when the phones exploded. Those whose faces were not deranged by the explosion were either very lucky or did not have a smartphone addiction. But these people became the oddities. Their normal faces stood out. Suddenly everyone with a deranged face felt deep shame. They now knew that they could not hide the extent of their smartphone addiction. For years they could hide. They could blend in. Everyone else was doing it so nothing seemed wrong with being on a smartphone while standing in line at the market. But now they felt terribly ashamed, especially when around someone with a normal face. Those with a normal face acquired a kind of moral superiority. They had resisted the pull of the smartphone addiction. They had not given into it. They had maintained their autonomy and dignity. Their humanity. At least this is the story their normal faces told. All these people with deranged faces felt such shame around people with normal faces that gradually the normal faced people started to disappear. The mongoloid looking people started to lash out at the normal faced people and gradually created a society where all the normal faced people were killed or placed in facilities that deranged normal faces. By the year 2023 there were only a handful of normal faced people still living free. But these normal faced people lived in exile and did not enter the world of what they called, “the phoners.”

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