Toilet Ruminations #91

I am a messed up man. A disturbed person. I do not understand what is wrong with me. One day I make one decision the next day I make a different decision. There is little that I can stick with. On Monday I decide to get rid of my smartphone and get a Nokia flip phone. I want my life back. I do not want to conform to the world of the smartphone like every other idiot has. But by Wednesday I want my smartphone back. The Nokia flip phone is too difficult. I can not spend five-minutes writing a text. I have no idea how to work the thing. It takes too long. Going from my smartphone to a flip phone is like drinking heavily everyday and then going cold turkey. Now I have to return to AT&T sand explain all of this. I have to return my Nokia flip phone to Target and reactivate my smartphone. Why can I not stand by my decision to no longer be a smartphone user? Why am I giving in after two days? I was so adamant about renouncing the smartphone and now I want to return to it. I am so dependent! The smartphone is so much easier! So much more beautiful to look at! But this is also what makes it a terrible problem. This is what gets me addicted to it. I wish I could hold out and stick with the Nokia flip phone. There is something admirable about pulling out my Nokia flip phone when I am around everyone who is glued to their smartphones. I look at all these people stuck and addicted to their smartphones and I think that I do not want to be one of them. I do not want to conform to this mass hypnosis. These smartphone companies control our minds. They control the hits of dopamine that our brain gets. Apple literally controls the degree to which we feel good. We are dependent on these smartphones to feel good. We need our hits of dopamine every time we check our phones. I did not want to be a part of this conformity. I did not like that I was giving in. I was adamant about getting out of this massive cult. But after two days with my Nokia flip phone I can not do it. It is too hard. I have no desire to check my phone. The thing is so ugly that I do not want to see it. I wake up and I do not even think to look for my phone. Yet I am always searching out my smartphone. Always wondering where it is. I could care less were my Nokia flip phone is. If people are trying to call or text me I do not want to know. It is too much of an effort to text or call people back. I do not want to deal with it. As a psychologist this is not good. Patients are continually trying to contact me through text. I must be more available for them. I can not be sending them short and misspelled texts. It makes me look bad. I have to go back to the smartphone. Phones have become status symbols. People see me with a Nokia flip phone and I am judged. I am seen as a failure. I must be poor or a drug dealer. Something is wrong with me. The moment I got my Nokia flip phone I felt as if my status immediately dropped. I was looked at differently. I did not realize how much my iPhone made me a part of a particular class. Now I am a nobody. A deviant off-the-grider. As a psychologist I can not afford this drop in my status. Patients will not want to return to see me because of my lowered status. They will judge me for using a Nokia flip phone. This is how things have become. We have all been greatly conformed to these smartphones. We do not think about this when we are in it because these massive companies control how we think and feel. We are their drones. But I must return to it. I can not be out of it anymore. “Yes, Hello AT&T. On Monday I switched over my iPhone to the Nokia flip phone. I now would like to reactivate my iPhone. Can you help me?”

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