Toilet Ruminations #92

I have set up the stool behind the fence. I have the lighting in the front room just right. I placed my binoculars on the bench. I have a warm hat and sweater. All of my clothes are black. Now I just wait. Everything is set up. Hope I do not sleep through it. My wife will be home around 2am. Before she left I told her I would sleep in the backroom. That she could have the house to herself if she wanted to bring a guy home with her. I know she wants to have sex with this guy. I know she likes him. It is almost as if I am setting her up to prove this to be true. She is going to take the bait. Before she left I acted sad and down. I was not enthralled by the idea of her going out or coming home with another man. But I also said that I did not mind. I told her to do what she wanted. I told her that I would sleep in the back just in case she brought a guy home. This way I would not be awoken by the noise. When I told her I would sleep in back she was very appreciative. She became animated. Happy. Too happy. I could tell she was excited. She is sexually voracious. She has an endless sexual appetite. She is currently going through a sexual craze sleeping and sucking off all kinds of men. This one guy who she had sex with last week, I know she likes him. I know she really likes how he has sex with her. My wife is a sucker for men who have sex with her well. Do I think she will fall in love with the guy? Probably not but she could fall in serious lust and who knows where that ends. My wife is just a serious sex person. She wants to have serious deviant sex as much as possible. It is a bit out of control but it’s fun for me. I get off on her being slutty. But at the same time I get mad. Hurt. Jealous. If she really cared for me and loved me in the way I want her to then she would see that I was not happy before she left and decide it is best not to bring the guy home tonight. But I guarantee that she will. I have given her the opportunity. I have opened the door. I guarantee she will take it. She can not resist an opportunity to have deviant sex with this guy. No way. The both will be here at 2am, I guarantee it. She really only thinks about her self-centered desire to have sex with these men. She will deal with me and my hurt feelings after. But I do not want to have hurt feelings. To hell with her. Let her have sex with who she wants. I get a front row show. I can get off watching her. It is exciting for me. But at the same time it shows me how she feels about me. I am a believer in personal evidence. This is all the personal evidence I need. It is ok. She does not have to be that in love with me. She does not have to care for me to that extent anymore. She can be her own independent agent. I don’t want to mind. I just need to become more independent on my own. I need to be less attached to her. I need to do my own thing more. We can be sex partners. Deviant partners in crime. We can care for and love each other. But do not get too close. She is potentially very dangerous because of her sexual appetites. Need to keep a distance and enjoy using her as a sexual object. She uses me for my intelligence, the status I give to her, the way I make her look good. It is only fair that I use her at the same time. Don’t sleep through this. I am certain that she will come home with this idiot guy. Just make your way outside. Have a seat on the bench and enjoy the show. Hopefully no animals will be out there. There has been a coyote hanging out in the garden at night. That would be terrible watching my wife having sex with another man while being attacked by a coyote. Or a racoon. Or a possum. Or whatever else may be back there at night. You can do it. Be brave. Don’t get all pissed off. Especially if she seems to be having a lot more fun than she does with you.


    1. Can you believe it? She sure did. Screwed the hell out of the guy. Twice. And then they hung out watching videos in between while I was in the dirt.


    1. Not really. She is really good at what she does (she should be a porn actress) and to an extent it was fun to spy on her and watch her in action but I get more hurt, jealous and afraid than I would like. My body has a negative response unfortunately. This makes it difficult to enjoy.


      1. I know. Stupid. But I am always hoping I will be get better at it. Be more at ease with it. But always end up feeling betrayed and turned on simultaneously.


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