I currently smoke weed every day. I wake up, meditate and then take a few hits from the bubbler. I am stoned for the rest of the day until I fall asleep.
I am a middle-aged, successful man. By success I mean I am not living in a transient motel someplace. I hold my life together with a house, a continual supply of food, a beautiful wife and work that keeps some degree of cash coming in.
I only clarify this because when I told you that I am stoned all day and night you probably assumed I was some fucked up loser. Even though I sometimes think of myself as a fucked up loser, I am not in reality.
I love weed. Weed makes me happy. Weed allows me to pleasantly and enthusiastically converse with other people. We makes me happy about life. Mundane things have a charm when I am smoking weed. When I am high I am in love with life so why would I not be high all the time?
When I am not high my wife reminds me to get high because she notices how miserable I can get.
I have a mental illness. I have struggled with it my entire life. It is a mental illness that causes me to think ten thousand thoughts all at once. It is a mental illness that makes it very hard for me to focus on one thing for extended periods of time. It is a mental illness that causes me to have mostly negative thoughts about everything. Rarely do things feel good in my head. I am exhausted and worn out by my head. My head has nothing good about anything to say, especially about myself.
Weed changes all of that. Weed gets in the way of this. Sure I think just as much if not more. Sure I still struggle to focus but on weed I feel better about things. I am not as worn down by my head and all of its machinations. Weed causes my thoughts to become more positive and glad and this is a remarkable transformation. Why would I not be high all the time?
People take pills for mental illness you know. You know this right? But here is the thing, these pills are making people more unhappy. These pills are wreaking havoc on a person’s organs. These pills are pacifying a person, the modern form of lobotomy. People will be under the influence of Paxil or Zoloft all of the time and you know what the high is from that? A pacified feeling and the absence of feeling all together. No thanks.
People take this shit! People really are cattle or sheep. They would rather take a synthetic pill because it comes from a medical doctor and as a result is culturally legitimate. Even though these pills are dulling them down! But few will be brave enough to be high all the time. Being high all the time is not culturally legitimate. It is actually looked down upon. Harshly judged.
But being high all the time has helped me so much. I have tried everything and nothing works like this. I am better at my job. I am more physically active. I listen to more music. I sleep so much better. I have much less anxiety. I am so much happier to be alive. My suicidal thoughts go away. I love more. I am more creative in my head. I have deep insights about myself and others. I am more present. My anger dissolves. I don’t read or write fiction as much but I am working on this. My lungs feel a bit effected by the inhalation of smoke, but it feels minor. Sometimes I feel like I breathe better.
Who would not want to be high all the time? But most see it as bad. An addiction. A lazy thing. That if they are high all the time they are doing something wrong. Or it is bad to be dependent on something. What bullshit. If that thing makes you a radically better person it is a necessary nutrient.
Stress and banality are the number one and two killers. Being high all the time is the most powerful cure for these two killers. A pill can’t do that and this is why weed is demonized. If those experiencing mental illness were high all the time there would be no need for psychiatrists and synthetic SSRI medication.
I truly love being high all the time. It is one of the best decisions I have made for my life. Smoking weed from morning to night. Not a lot, but enough to keep me in the high range all my waking hours. It is a wonderful place to be. My mental illness is just about cured.
I am able to experience joy and pleasure again. When I am not high all the time my mental illness makes this impossible. I am a very unhappy and anxious man. I experience intense stress and banality. It’s terrible. I’ve meditated and been in psychotherapy for most of my adult years and these practices have not changed my mental health struggles that much.
Being high all the time is a cure.
Sure I am worried about inhaling smoke everyday but I have already had cancer and did not smoke (I do not find vaporizers or edibles nearly as medicinal as smoking). My misery, stress, anxiety and general unhappiness had a lot more to do with me getting cancer than smoke from weed ever will. I am willing to take the risk because the smoke medicates something that is far more dangerous to my health than the smoke is to my lungs.
It is 10 am. I have already enjoyed my morning coffee with a few hits from the bubbler. After I write this I will take one more hit from my bubbler and then go for a walk. Then I will go to work. I will spend the entire day and night high. I will get things done. Then I will do it again tomorrow. It’s a wonderful thing and my hope is that other people struggling with mental illness will give themselves permission to spend the rest of their lives high all the time.
*If you’re interested in my next post I can give you helpful tips about how to get to a place where you are able to be comfortably high all the time. It is something a person may need to work up to.