Where do you draw the line with people?
Often times it is a difficult line to see.
There are those of us who try to be nice to people. We invest in people. We care about people. We normally give too much of our energy to other people.
This tendency probably comes from wanting to be liked by other people. It may also come from manipulating other people so we can get what we want from them. Mostly, I think it comes from wanting to be a nice, cool, down to earth person.
But this may cost the nice person their happiness and feelings of self-care (confidence).
You see for people who are just genuinely nice people in how they deal with other people, maybe they need to get better at making the dick move more.
What is the dick move? It often feels unnatural for the nice person.
To make a dick move is to not care about people who do not care about you. To not invest in people who are not invested in you. TO ONLY CARE ABOUT AND BE INVESTED IN PEOPLE WHO YOU FEEL CARE ABOUT AND ARE INVESTED IN YOU. You can always tell when someone is not really invested in you as much as you may want to believe that they are.
To the nice person, this will feel bad. It will feel unnatural at first. It will feel like a dick move. But the nice person has to get better at making the dick move or else a lot of their energy will get used up by people who are not invested at all in them.
The nice person will become a resentful and bitter person under the surface.
Why would a person give so much energy and attention to a person who does not care about them? I have never understood this but I think it has to do with growing up with a mother and/or father who made the child think that their feelings and emotions did not matter. The child learns to push their feelings aside in order to please the parent. To pay attention to the parent’s feelings and disregard their own.
Nice people are often people who have learned, through conditioning, to not consider themselves.
If nice people can get better at the dick move, they will be much better off in the long-term. In the end, you can only work towards making yourself a better and happier person. The main way to do is is to not care what others think. To do what you feel is in your best interests as much of the time as is possible. Even though it may feel like a dick move.
A lack of confidence is almost always the fear of other people’s judgment. But as we learn to fear other people’s judgement less, and become more of who we authentically are, we can get better at making the dick move (without all the guilt that often holds a person back).
Remember- guilt is not a natural human emotion. No baby is born feeling guilty. Guilt is an artificial emotion. It is a control emotion. It is put in us by other people to keep us in line. To keep us under control. Guilt means the fear of future punishment. If we feel guilty chances are we will not act in our best interest for fear of future punishment.
Something to keep in mind as you make the dick move more.