How much time do I waste on Facebook? I am not on Instagram that much. I don’t do Twitter at all (even though I want to quit Facebook and do Twitter instead). But my social media time is spent on Facebook. But I do not like Facebook. I do not feel comfortable posting on Facebook. But I like the information about current events that I can get. I like some of the memes that have to do with current events. Good infographics. And it is also a place for me to vent my political positions and my personal confessions and feel like I am actually doing something. Even though I am doing nothing. No one cares. If anything they just judge me. I don’t have a deep connection to anyone of Facebook but I keep coming back to it again and again. I am being exposed to people I want to have nothing to do with but I keep exposing myself to them. I keep posting and sharing things. I keep staying Facebook active despite my disdain for Facebook. Is this the Facebook addiction? Have I been brainwashed by them just like everyone else doing it? I always would be in disbelief after going back on Facebook after a time of being away from it and being puzzled that the same people were posting the same stuff. Maybe Facebook turns people into Facehooked zombies? Maybe people get hooked and Facebook turns them into uninspired and irrelevant jerks? It is contemporary surveillance at its finest and everyday I turn myself in. This is a ridiculous habit. I don’t know. I need to find a way to stop myself from participating. So what if I will feel more alone.
It makes little sense why the things that I long to do, desperately want to do, are the very things I do so little or not at all. It is my own personal quandary. I just do not get this about myself. Is it ADHD? Is it laziness? I don’t understand how it is already 1:30pm and I have not done the things I want to do yet. I have taken a shower. I have gone for a walk. I have cleaned my home. I have messed around on Facebook. I have written this blog post. I have texted with my girlfriend. I have listened to some music. I have listened to some news on the radio. I have gone to the liquor store and bought some kombuchas and potato salads. I have stared out at the water. But I have not yet read, made art but at least now I am writing something.